My kids and I made a Sonic run the other day. If you live anywhere near Oklahoma, you know the lure of Sonic Cherry Limeades. Make it “happy hour” and it’s hard to resist. 🙂
Driving back, my two oldest are talking about where they’ll live in college and who they’ll live with. Keegan (10) is patiently explaining to Josie (7) that she’ll live in a dorm room at college and have a roommate. Perplexed, Josie confirms, “Mom, can my roommate be a girl and not a boy?”
The conversation that ensued was comical, at best. Â I listened as Keegan tried to explain that boys can’t live with girls and girls can’t live with boys b/c that might lead to “making out and other inappropriate things”. Â I sat at the wheel trying not to laugh out loud.
At this point I stepped in to direct the conversation a little. Â You see, I want my kids to grow up with a healthy respect for sex. Â Though I’m a little spooked that my 10 year old understands that there is more to do than just ‘making out’… I’m not going to freak out over it. Â I’m not going to teach him to fear it. Â I’m going to teach him to cherish it.
Cherish – (verb) to hold or treat as dear; to care for tenderly
For the next 5 minutes I talked to them about kissing, hugging and other things that married people do to share their love.
But these are only for when you’re married. Â Why? Â Because it’s a special gift only for that person. Â A lot like a Christmas gift. Â What happens when we open our Christmas gift a week before Christmas? Â It spoils the surprise! Â There are special things that are only for your husband or wife. Â Special gifts that are spoiled if you open them too early… like before marriage. Â It’s our job to protect and cherish this gift until God brings the right person to receive that gift.
My hope is to set the stage for open dialogue with my kids about appropriate boundaries, healthy perspectives and the gift of sex.
Likely the first of many ‘facts of life’ conversations over a Cherry Limeade.  🙂
How would you explain this to your kids?
When my sister was a baby (she’s 8 years younger) my mom had the bright idea of wrapping all the Christmas gifts in red with black ribbons and taping little chocolates that looked like ladybugs on them. Well my sister found them and not only opened and ate all of the ladybugs (probably including a fair amount of foil), but pulling the tape off also piqued her interest and made her then unwrap presents that weren’t hers. Not only did she spoil her own surprise, she opened gifts that weren’t hers. I woke up to seeing torn up, chocolately presents that were supposed to be for me. So the mess is worse that just spoiling the surprise for yourself. You’re also ruining someone else’s gift.
But you’re lucky. Most of my conversations about marriage revolve around why you can’t marry your cousin. (BTW, the correct answer is: When you ask someone to marry you, it’s because you love them so much, you’d like to invite them to be in your family forever. Your cousin is already in your family, so you can’t invite them.) It’s a topic that’s been coming up for quite a bit longer than I’m comfortable with. 🙂 I’d rather talk birds and bees at this point.
Big K that’s HILARIOUS!!!
Sonic happy hours are our favorite too!
Way to go to take advantage of a “teachable moment”. You’re only just getting started but what a great start! Kudos to u and btw…the conversations get so much more interesting!! 😉
Wow! What an experience…wish I had been there for that one, great training. Awesome!!!