Have I ever told you I have a stalker?
I do.
She’s been around for a while. Hiding in the shadows of my life. Lurking around every corner. Tucked into the crevices of every day. Ready to pounce the moment the opportunity presents itself.
We’ve had so many years together… my stalker and I. So. Much. Time.
I call her FoF (short for Fear Of Failure). FoF is always in the background of my life hovering and waiting. She’s never far away.
As I walk through this season of discovering a new career path, I can’t help but feel FoF a little closer than normal. Whispering annoying little questions like…
Am I really cut out for this?
Will I be able to succeed in a new field?
These thoughts have been running through my head constantly as I try to navigate this transition.
But when I take a step back and reflect on my past experiences and accomplishments, I’m reminded I have the skills and determination to make it work. I’ve tackled new challenges in the past. I’ve faced experiences that were hard. But those experiences realized potential in me that I knew was there… it just needed the right circumstances to emerge.
That’s really what it boils down to for me.
Realizing my potential.
I’ll be damned if I’m going to get to the edge of my years here on this planet and someone comment that I had “so much potential”… but it never saw the light of day. That thought alone produces a visceral response for me. The thought of leaving potential on the table of my life is sobering.
So, in this transitional season, I’ve deployed a few strategies to address this underlying fear and push FOF a little further back into the shadows. (She’s so annoying.)
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Set clear goals and work towards them: A friend challenged me recently to treat this process like I would a project at work. I had this “OF COURSE!!” I-feel-foolish moment. Lawd, friends. You’d think this was the first time I’d tackled something unknown. (insert heavy eye-roll). So… that’s exactly what I did. Presently I have a project folder titled “Job Hunt” that contains a Project Charter, OKRs, and metrics tracking docs. BUT… of all the tools that I use to set clear, actionable goals, my favorite really is the Full Focus Planner. They are a little more expensive than your typical planner. I tried to avoid the expense by purchasing a planner at a retail store recently. I just didn’t feel I could justify the expense of a Full Focus Planner. I used that pitiful retail story planner for one week and promptly ordered another quarterly FF planner last week. Michael Hyatt’s system simply works best for me. So, if anyone is in need of a partially-used, well-intentioned 2023 planner, I’ve got one up for grabs.
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Seek out new challenges and experiences: When it comes to this career shift, I’m keeping an open perspective and entertaining a variety of potential experiences. I pay less attention to the experience requirements an employer describes in their job listing. I push against the idea that there is a specific ‘lane’ in which I should remain. If the role involves me driving a work truck, and wearing a hard hat… and yet offers me the opportunity to organize, empower and cultivate a team… well, that’s worth consideration. And you never know… I just might find it fun.
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Seek feedback and support: I’ve said this for years… be kind enough to tell me the truth. My heart always broke for the American Idol contestants that had to get all the way to Simon Cowell before they heard the words, “You can’t sing”. I’d rather hear it from YOU. So… I’m actively pursuing feedback from trusted friends and connections. I want to know how I truly contribute to a team and what are my blindspots. At this stage in the game, I could tell myself that I already know my blindspots. But I think I’d be lying to myself. We’re all onions… with another layer just waiting to peel back and reveal something new. And every new discovery is an opportunity to learn. I kinda’ like opportunities to learn.
So, these little steps are my way of telling FoF she can step back. I’m not interested in her pestering presence. Maybe there will come a day when I forget she’s there.
Maybe.
In the meantime, with pen in hand, here’s the question I explored in my journal…
Where else in my life does the fear of failure hold me back from experiencing the fullness of life?
Now, go fire your stalker.
