A mentor posed that question to me a few years ago…
What have you changed your mind about lately?
The question struck me. What have I changed my mind about? I figured he wasn’t referring to my new found love for whiskey after years of turning my nose up. Or my acquiescence to the reality that yoga really IS an exercise and not just glorified stretching. Or that cats can make great… actually I’ve not changed my mind about that one… its a HARD pass on cats for me. (to all my cat-loving friends… you do you, boo)
The question my mentor posed wasn’t directed at the trivial preferences of life. His question targeted the core beliefs I’d held to that define…
how I approach life
how I see myself
how I see those around me
Better stated… What core beliefs have I changed my mind about?
What are Core Beliefs?
Core beliefs can be like those old, ratty sweaters inherited from my grandma. They may have served a purpose back in the day, but now they just take up space in my closet and make me look frumpy. But just like getting rid of that sweater, changing core beliefs seems daunting. I could “Marie Kondo” the thing and thank it for how it served me well back in the day… but did it really serve me well?
Or did it prevent me from seeing what’s true? (that’s a thinker)
How do I recognize Core Beliefs?
Identifying core beliefs isn’t as easy as we’d think. Just like digging through that metaphorical closet, it takes time and self-reflection. But finding those beliefs that hold me back, is like finally recognizing those cargo pants I ROCKED back in 2010… well, I don’t rock them any longer. Things have changed. And it’s time to question their validity. Are these core beliefs really true? Or are they just something I’ve been telling myself for so long that I believed to be true?
Now it’s time for some good old-fashioned evidence. Just like trying on grandma’s ratty sweater and realizing it’s not my style, I had to take a look at the evidence in my life that contradict that questionable core belief to which I clung. Personal experiences, stories of friends, feedback from others… all of these became tangible evidence that my core belief may not be as true as I thought it to be.
What story do I want to tell?
At this point, holding that ratty sweater in hand, I have a choice to make. Let go of what’s known, what’s comfortable, what’s familiar in order to embrace something unknown, uncomfortable, unfamiliar and yet true.
At this juncture, I’m faced with another question. What story do I want to tell?
In other words… on the other side of this conundrum, what do I want to say that I did? That I chose to white-knuckle this core belief I was given despite the mounting life experience telling me this core belief is not true? To cling to it because its familiar, safe, predictable… comfortable?
Or do I want to tell the story that I’ve changed my mind. That I embraced what is true over what is familiar. Risky over safe.
That’s the story I’m actively telling today. I’ve changed my mind about some things. And as I continue on this journey of self-reflection, I’m sure there is more to come.
Changing core beliefs is not a one-time process. It’s more like a progressive overhaul. It takes time, patience, and even a few mistakes. And mistakes are okay (said no Enneagram 3 EVER).
Because mistakes are evidence of asking hard questions, doing hard things and trusting you have what you need to face what lies ahead.
I may share more over time about some of these changes. Then again, I may not. I’m not entirely certain that is needed. It’s not about WHAT I’ve changed my mind about. It’s about the fact that I’m willing to do the hard work in order to change my mind.
I don’t want hand-me-down core beliefs to prevent me from experiencing what is true in this life. My faith tells me life has so much more to offer. And I want to experience all of it.
Love to all of you, my friends. What core beliefs are you clinging to that may be time to let go?
